Intimacy: Today I finally got a job, after a couple years of trying to... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 20:07 - United States - Los Angeles

Today I finally got a job, after a couple years of trying to get one. Before meeting me, my new boss decided to text me about the work hours. I was texting another friend at the time, and as an inside joke I texted my friend "I hate you". Afterwards, I realized that I actually texted my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 30

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ndaguanno 17

Sunday 1 May 2016 17:05

I hope you called your boss on the spot and apologized for that. Not the best way to start off a new job

Comments

ndaguanno 17

Sunday 1 May 2016 17:05

I hope you called your boss on the spot and apologized for that. Not the best way to start off a new job

Keywords

Love Music Cute TMI Work Gross Coworkers Racism Kids Scary Customers Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Sex Awkward Cheating Animals Health Insects Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, after he asked to hit it raw three days into talking, shit got a little messy, so he said he needed time to decide how he felt about me. So, he's ready to be a high school baby daddy before trying to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 546

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 3 096

The Top

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 9 078

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 939

You deserved it 15 542

Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 1 007

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 265

You deserved it 5 960

Today, despite being over-qualified, I was turned down for a job because my fiancé works in a different dept/building of the same company. This is a really small town. If knowing existing employees is going to be an automatic disqualification, I'm going to have to move or commute 2 hours a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 073

You deserved it 1 404

Today, at an MA meeting, I ran into the cop who'd pulled me over and given me a ticket for marijuana possession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 501

You deserved it 1 313