Intimacy: Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought...

By koanroak - 22/06/2015 03:08 - United States - Carrollton

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 714

You deserved it 2 363

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 00:00

Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 343

You deserved it 399

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 00:24 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 555

You deserved it 408

Class dismissed

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 08:01

Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 1 144

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 46 689

By danesy - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 232

You deserved it 3 787

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 497

You deserved it 4 689

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 229

You deserved it 7 477

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 992

By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 19:07 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 830

You deserved it 4 482

By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 538

You deserved it 7 480

hayleybee44 12

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

I hope he washed his hands afterwards...

runninggirl8 16

Monday 22 June 2015 18:08

at least nothing terrible happened

Comments

sorainu 18

Monday 22 June 2015 18:07

When I accidentally comment on the wrong fml >.>

Miss_Chevious 37

Monday 22 June 2015 18:17

what a waste of a first comment

runninggirl8 16

Monday 22 June 2015 18:08

at least nothing terrible happened

Rinat_fml 26

Monday 22 June 2015 18:38

It was terrible, for OP.

zahidnasir 22

Monday 22 June 2015 19:42

i think its ok for a lady like you

jforren 14

Monday 22 June 2015 23:17

Okay, but why would it be okay to say that?

hayleybee44 12

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

I hope he washed his hands afterwards...

iPixelCheese 19

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

Umm. I have no words, sorry that you had to witness that OP

pooldude 24

Monday 22 June 2015 18:54

you just said you had no word! Then you go ahead and... this is why i have trust issues

dakatabg 31

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

Killing some time on the phone

Misskreher 30

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do

Tournesol143 28

Monday 22 June 2015 18:11

I imagine the people hearing that while waiting for their food must think the cooks are pretty passionate about their jobs!

extrasnipes 22

Monday 22 June 2015 19:10

Oh yeah oh yeah milk it milk good. Not to fast though. Mhmm oh yeah that's amazing. Oh Mhm cum on, where's the special sauce.

Sandsh8rk 36

Monday 22 June 2015 18:11

I guess **** can't wait for anything.

satanic_fml 13

Monday 22 June 2015 18:14

sounds like the start of a porno

archnarquibquib 21

Monday 22 June 2015 18:27

Who watches **** at work? What the ****?

katydid91 31

Monday 22 June 2015 21:23

Right?! Especially in the food industry!

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Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 27 876

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 560

The Top

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 92 117

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 780

You deserved it 1 881

Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 2 127

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 454

You deserved it 3 503

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 101

You deserved it 2 929

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 148

You deserved it 3 649

Same thing different taste

Class dismissed

Talk to me baby

Wanker

Listen up

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