Well jeez, do people sit on other people's beards when they just met them now a days?

#31. Of course. What is wrong with you?

Hmmm. I don't think I'm going to shave next week.

When you're man enough to grow a beard, you get the balls to say that type of stuff

He's as slick as his own beard!

Yes

No

why does this have 220+ upvotes when I knew that this is what the first comment would be before I even entered the comment section, do people not enjoy creativity? :0

Then you wouldn't get offended like op did either right :)

Of course not. I probably wouldn't take him up on the offer, but it'd definitely brighten my day.

Actually, I do. This makes the top five, and I'd tell you the other four but my comment would be moderated.

Actually, I do. This makes the top five.

Is it just me or does anyone else want to hear the full list???

I'm afraid that the good people of the FML moderating board would not approve of my posting the full list.

I would like to see the full list...

I've been in trouble over what I've said on here before, and don't particularly want to go down that road again. However, as a compromise I'll give you the number one thing I'd say if I were a guy: I like that you're smart because eventually I'll take my **** out of your mouth and it's nice that you'll have something interesting to say. Thankfully, I'm female so I don't get slapped nearly as often as I would if I were male.

That is gold xD

I have beard. Would you please like to sit on my face?

This guy is smoother than butter

true... in fact "I can't believe it's not butter "

*Nut butter.

I already have my own down there, wouldn't add much to it.

No, I'm pretty sure he was talking about his beard; so was the OP.

Smart !

Beard =/= Penis

Thank you #91! I always get weird looks when I tell people I want to grow a penis

Intercorse isn't the only form of sex...

well what else would he mean?

What does any of this have to do with guy code?

It would be more against the guy code to not say it.

You're a female talking about guy code and it's against guy code not to attempt to get a girl

Did I sit on a stranger's face? haha no

you should''ve

I must say his reply was epic.

Lmao. Dudes don't give a ****.