FML : Your everyday life stories

Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 1 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

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By Why Me - / Wednesday 15 August 2018 04:00 /

Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

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By LennyFace134 - / Tuesday 7 August 2018 22:00 / Canada - Burlington

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

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By tristaph - / Wednesday 1 August 2018 00:00 /

Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML

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By jeauxann - / Friday 11 May 2018 23:59 /

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

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By Amber Rutledge - / Saturday 27 January 2018 00:00 /

FML's Christmas Bingo!

Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends!

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By Alan - / Monday 25 December 2017 17:30 /

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By FML Approved - / Thursday 19 October 2017 21:00 / United States - New York

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By FML Approved - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 21:00 / United States - New York

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By FML Approved - / Monday 16 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

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By FML Approved - / Saturday 14 October 2017 08:29 / United States - New York

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 13 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 12 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Wednesday 11 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Tuesday 10 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Monday 9 October 2017 08:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Sunday 8 October 2017 08:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Saturday 7 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 6 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 5 October 2017 14:30 /

Halloween Struggles

Do you have your Halloween costume picked out yet?

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By FML Approved - / Wednesday 4 October 2017 08:30 / United States - New York

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By FML Approved - / Monday 2 October 2017 22:30 /

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 28 September 2017 08:30 / United States - New York

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Monday 25 September 2017 14:34 /

Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML

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You deserved it

By Goober - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 14:30 /

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You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 15 September 2017 14:36 /

I agree, your life sucks

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By FML Approved - / Thursday 14 September 2017 14:34 /

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By FML Approved - / Wednesday 13 September 2017 14:30 / France - Paris

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By FML Approved - / Monday 11 September 2017 14:31 /

I agree, your life sucks

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By FML Approved - / Sunday 10 September 2017 14:32 /

Happy birthday !

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FML

Today I was looking through an old text chat with someone to find a picture. "Someone" also happens to be my crush's sister. I accidentally used an imessage...

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Each one of us has needs we have not had until now.some hope for a better life.others hope foe a stress-free life, and so once you know your needs it is...

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Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

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Spicy

Today I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a junk pic'. FML

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Today was the first time my husband came since getting a vasectomy. Not a big deal except he did not tell me that it’s common for men to pass out the first...

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