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By not a cheater! - 27/2/2019 14:00
  Today I found out why my inlaws hate me so much. Apparently my husband told his brother, who then told the entire family, he caught me cheating a while back. My husband’s idea of “cheating” was me using my vibrator and watching porn while he was gone. Didn’t know I could cheat with myself. FML
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By  BurnInDemonFire  |  26

So what happens now? Do you have to divorce him, and marry yourself? And if you masturbate when you're married to yourself, are you cheating on yourself with yourself? Will you then have to divorce yourself, too? What about sharing your assets and possessions evenly with yourself? Can you even split them with yourself 50/50 if you're technically keeping everything? Once it's all over, will you stay in contact with yourself, or will you prefer to avoid yourself at all costs? Would you allow yourself to visit your family if they wanted to stay in touch, if there was a chance you could run into yourself if you didn't know you were there visiting when you went to visit them? Relationships can be so complicated, sometimes.

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By  BurnInDemonFire  |  26

So what happens now? Do you have to divorce him, and marry yourself? And if you masturbate when you're married to yourself, are you cheating on yourself with yourself? Will you then have to divorce yourself, too? What about sharing your assets and possessions evenly with yourself? Can you even split them with yourself 50/50 if you're technically keeping everything? Once it's all over, will you stay in contact with yourself, or will you prefer to avoid yourself at all costs? Would you allow yourself to visit your family if they wanted to stay in touch, if there was a chance you could run into yourself if you didn't know you were there visiting when you went to visit them? Relationships can be so complicated, sometimes.

By  manb91uk  |  22

Your husband must feel woefully inadequate if he feels jealous of battery operated plastic... Maybe he needs to...

Wait for it...

Get a grip on himself.

I'll be here all week.

By  NostalgiaFreak9  |  40

I will never understand how people can be psychotic enough to equate masturbating and/or using porn to cheating. It's one thing to get frustrated if your partner spends most of their time masturbating and/or using porn, but that still doesn't equate to cheating.

By  RichardPencil  |  27

Your vibrator probably gives you more intense orgasms than your husband does, that is, if the two-pump chump gives you any at all.

It certainly has a better personality.

By  LolCandy  |  27

Masturbation is healthy and normal, but an unfortunate amount of porn supports human trafficking.

If the two of you hadn’t made an agreement about this before he is way off-base and you two definitely need to talk about it now.

But really, telling his family behind your back that you were cheating on him- lying? I don’t know if there is any coming back from that.

By  Charlie Given  |  21

Call him out on his shit in front of the whole family but do it in a surprising fashion invite family over for dinner let them know you have something to say so they'll show then put him in his wussy ass place by slapping the dildo down on the table and be like this is whom I'm cheating with 😂 care to explain to your family

By  KiwiiGames  |  5

The masturbating part isn’t the cheating. It’s the porn. You were getting off while looking at someone else naked instead of your husband. It’s like if you got nudes from someone. Now that doesn’t mean he isn’t a hypocrite. I’m sure he does the same thing, and is just controlling. Just offering some clarification.