Miscellaneous: Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes...

By Tiff676 - 16/08/2009 04:31 - Canada

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 970

You deserved it 2 677

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Same thing different taste

By misspriss - 17/02/2010 01:30 - United States

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 2 827

Flirtatious bubble

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 8 593

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 142

Memorable presentation

By paul - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 568

You deserved it 4 879

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Parker

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 312

You deserved it 3 924

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 547

Snotty

By Snot monster - 29/08/2025 03:00 - Poland

Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 148

One way or another

By embarrassed - 08/10/2012 09:12 - Australia - Morphett Vale

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 6 142

Say it, don't spray it

By Yak - 09/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 52

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 908

You deserved it 4 115

DrAwesome 6

Sunday 16 August 2009 19:08

Man, that must snot have been fun...

Mur1017 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 12:21

wow thats nasty fyl :S

Comments

febag 0

Monday 17 August 2009 15:08

Swine Flu!

joshizzle3 1

Tuesday 18 August 2009 7:38

lol for capitalizing Usher, like the musician

Lunelle_fml 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 11:02

Ushers clean the theaters, ticket tearers or door persons tear the tickets...

NicholasEdward 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 5:25

You fail.

MikeWazoski771 0

Monday 15 February 2010 22:31

who drinks water at the movies???

patrick19 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 1:23

I would of back handed that Fag

stephaniegeezy 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:16

TRYNA GET MA USHER ON BUT I CAN'T LET IT BURN. Seriously, I would've snarted on him.

Niki0308 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 5:56

Only the musician Usher is capitalized. It's a job as in NOT capitalized.

nosferatu4444 10

Thursday 25 August 2011 9:21

you should have yelled at him so everyone would hear, where's your self respect

Savanna Marie 8

Sunday 10 February 2019 1:54

if it makes you feel any better, any normal person could have been MORTIFIED. I'd start going to see movies in a different town. this has happened to me twice, but with laughing. once, ice cream. once, hot and sour soup. it was the first time I met my now stepdad. it. was. awful.