Intimacy: Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and...

By NotHappyJan - 03/12/2018 03:00

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 1 983

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 171

You deserved it 17 626

By fihifgni210 - 20/05/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 755

You deserved it 73 634

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 658

You deserved it 15 739

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 607

You deserved it 83 016

By kha - 24/03/2009 10:18 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 293

You deserved it 15 141

By mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 8 848

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 737

You deserved it 23 074

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 273

You deserved it 47 061

By bees - 09/10/2014 06:51 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 055

You deserved it 2 709

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 08:00 - Canada - Grand Bay

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 4 610

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 27 November 2018 17:29

Did they offer to trim your bush, too?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 3 December 2018 3:27

Pay no attention to the crazy lady above. Feel free to sunbathe topless anywhere!

Comments

sunnyray812 42

Monday 26 November 2018 22:28

Lesson here? Never sunbathe naked unless you're at a nudist beach.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 27 November 2018 17:27

Is that experience talking? Asking for a friend.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 3 December 2018 3:27

Pay no attention to the crazy lady above. Feel free to sunbathe topless anywhere!

PenguinPal3017 19

Monday 3 December 2018 4:45

Does it really matter whether yard workers see her or beach goers? I assume she just didn't want to be seen, hence doing it when grandma was out.

TheSminty1 17

Monday 3 December 2018 20:18

LOL, because nobody can see you there

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 27 November 2018 17:29

Did they offer to trim your bush, too?

Phillycheeze 20

Monday 3 December 2018 3:19

You are my new hero...... lol

Stan_The_Man 7

Wednesday 5 December 2018 4:08

Nice

wanted_2_want 40

Monday 3 December 2018 6:02

I’m sure that was hard for them to see the view.

TumblrweedPasses 11

Monday 3 December 2018 14:23

It was so hot you were sunbaking?? Jesus

BetterThanU 1

Monday 3 December 2018 20:16

Don't lie, you wanted the D. YDI

TheSminty1 17

Monday 3 December 2018 20:17

Nothappyjan meet Happyjuan

GUYMAINE 16

Tuesday 4 December 2018 8:46

At your gmas? really?

Stan_The_Man 7

Wednesday 5 December 2018 4:09

Some would say that it’s nice to feel appreciated every now and then.

Krystal.xo 12

Sunday 10 February 2019 6:05

but did you continue?

lovelytrish1990 11

Sunday 28 April 2019 12:35

Well that’s embarrassing 😳

Keywords

Music Cute Love Gross Work Coworkers TMI Racism Scary Kids Customers Gamers Geek Technology Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Awkward Sex Cheating Insects Animals Health Plumbing Money Insurance Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, a sewer main broke just outside of where I work. It smells like a latrine here but we are not allowed to close down, and the county won't do anything about it for two weeks. The only upside is that I'm not dealing with many customers, but having to smell the entire city's feces is way worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 77

Today, I woke up from surgery with nurses all giggling at me. I asked them what was wrong, and apparently I’m now famous as the guy who kept getting boners every 10 minutes, until finally the surgeon used surgical tape to stick it to my thigh to keep it out out of his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 217

The Top

Today, after working my ass off for months trying to prove myself, I received an email from my boss regarding the end-year function. Excited to be invited, I opened the email just to see I'm the only one being left behind to answer the phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 355

You deserved it 1 628

Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 151

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 224

You deserved it 19 324

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 267

You deserved it 10 816

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 261

You deserved it 15 375

Today, my sister and I were talking about our salaries. She just graduated from university and will start working soon. It turns out that she'll earn more money than me. I have been working for 4 years. However, my earnings are still less than those of a worker with no experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 197

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments