Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 02:00

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 390

You deserved it 271

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Same thing different taste

Let's go for a walk

By jonloran - 14/08/2015 09:08 - United States - Incline Village

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 820

You deserved it 2 283

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 134

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 335

You deserved it 4 028

This is wrong

By WTF - 05/09/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 744

You deserved it 3 410

By DarkDolly - 04/02/2012 16:39 - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 026

You deserved it 3 173

Bad mindset

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 2 240

Dude, you're really bad at this

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 05:00 - Kenya

Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 797

By dad, please - 16/05/2016 05:37 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 000

You deserved it 1 558

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

By JesusLaidAnEgg - 10/09/2019 14:02

Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 1 269

GamerChickxoxo 16

Thursday 30 May 2019 3:06

and now hes got something with your scent on it to jerk off into later great move :P

Iamthebanzai22 20

Thursday 30 May 2019 6:45

Fighting back was the right thing to do. Can you imagine what would have happened if you had just cowered? Good job!

Comments

GamerChickxoxo 16

Thursday 30 May 2019 3:06

and now hes got something with your scent on it to jerk off into later great move :P

GamerChickxoxo 16

Thursday 30 May 2019 3:19

on a serious note, hope your ok try not to go around there alone,hes prob there often

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 30 May 2019 20:03

your sense of humor is advanced.

Cheryl Castilleja 4

Thursday 30 May 2019 6:39

I’m sorry that happened to you!

Iamthebanzai22 20

Thursday 30 May 2019 6:45

Fighting back was the right thing to do. Can you imagine what would have happened if you had just cowered? Good job!

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 30 May 2019 8:50

Did he get your backpack? But more importantly, did he finish?

Susan Yee 9

Thursday 30 May 2019 9:16

Now you have to burn your backpack.

MamaChey 24

Thursday 30 May 2019 10:50

Game of Throwns

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 30 May 2019 20:02

wtf is any of this????

Velan Saravana 2

Thursday 30 May 2019 22:59

Did you informed about this incident to your dad?

Chen Zhibang 8

Friday 31 May 2019 3:40

In the spirit of mortal kombat: finish him. In whichever way that pleases you or him...

Zan 16

Friday 31 May 2019 4:36

need more scandalous details....

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 365

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 915

The Top

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 038

You deserved it 2 789

Today, I invited my Peruvian girlfriend to my parent’s house for dinner. They decorated the house with Mexican flag and Fiesta lanyards, and bought Taco Bell. My girlfriend is vegetarian and had to explain to them that no, Peru is not a city in Mexico. It’s been 3 hours and she won’t pick up her calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 212

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 007

You deserved it 1 532

Today, as I was perusing old photos with my mother, I found one of her with a "childhood friend" at her wedding to my dad. Now I know where my green eyes and blotchy neck birthmark came from, and it's not from the man I’ve been calling "dad" for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 850

You deserved it 266

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 077

You deserved it 8 932

Today, I got a letter from the Navy saying that they accepted my application to join the Navy. I never applied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 463

You deserved it 2 550

Same thing different taste

Let's go for a walk

Easy mistake

This is wrong

Bad mindset

Dude, you're really bad at this

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

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