Today I discovered why my ex hadn't contacted me since leaving... - FML

bummedbutnotthatmuch - 01/05/2017 23:30 - United States - Tallahassee

Today I discovered why my ex hadn't contacted me since leaving for basic training over a year ago... I guess it's easier to marry someone in the service than to maintain a long-distance relationship with your loving, yet stationary, boyfriend. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

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Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML

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Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML

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Today, after years of restless sleep in a noisy city, I finally moved to a very quiet place. So quiet that I realized I have tinnitus. I need to play background noise to cover it, so I can manage to get some sleep. FML

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Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML

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Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

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