Today at work I was draining the oil drain ( I work in a garage) and I hooked up the air hose to pressurize the tank and immediately oil spewed everywhere. Apparently the hose doesnt stay in the tank by itself like all the other ones Ive used. about 20 gallons of oil was all over the floor. FML
Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML
Today, I'd promised my flatmate I’d sleep somewhere else so he could hook up with his Tinder date. Unfortunately I had a bad day at work and totally forgot so I went home as normal and walked in on him in the front room, balls deep in my aunt, who is “happily married” to my favourite uncle. FML
Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML
Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML
Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML
