Intimacy: Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office,... - FML

By im_radd - 21/01/2010 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 766

You deserved it 47 136

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 4 189

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 4 481

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Spicy

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 085

You deserved it 4 929

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 119

You deserved it 3 327

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 605

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 951

You deserved it 6 696

By Roxy19 - 22/01/2013 06:50 - United States - San Diego

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 386

You deserved it 39 537

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 183

You deserved it 2 933

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 3 146

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 13 717

Next

Top comments

Jimboom 11

Thursday 21 January 2010 16:09

Into self harm? Theres an app for that.

farmgirl 3

Thursday 21 January 2010 16:22

Apparently you never learned the difference between sexy and slutty.

Comments

Cam_N_Samm124 0

Friday 22 January 2010 15:00

YDI for being a ****.

nesha25 8

Saturday 23 January 2010 0:09

this is what happens when you try and be a ****

manstie 1

Saturday 23 January 2010 16:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Darkhumor 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:55

Since when could trailer trash afford an iphone?

tdawgheath 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 3:30

You, sir, are an idiot.

hailliegirl 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 2:58

lmfao thats just too funny

uriel538 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 18:30

HAHA HILARIOUS

dabomblyktiktikk 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 18:12

i find that fml's thatsay at some point "i thouqht id b sexy and..." dont end well. i wonder y.

PurpleSharpie987 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 1:08

okaaaayyy...****.

ScaramoucheX 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 0:07

#1= classic! :)

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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The Top

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 1 945

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 413

You deserved it 3 198

Today, after weeks of debating with myself, I finally got the courage to ask out my best friend of 9 years. She turned me down, saying that dating me would be like adopting a puppy, and she doesn't want that kind of responsibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 052

You deserved it 2 811

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 077

You deserved it 2 860

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 055

You deserved it 49 323

Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 521