Miscellaneous: Today, the guy I buy weed from invited me to have Easter dinner...

By mel - 25/03/2016 13:20 - United States - Smithville

Today, the guy I buy weed from invited me to have Easter dinner with his family, since I've nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 410

You deserved it 5 264

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Same thing different taste

Stellar parenting

By joi9496 - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 725

You deserved it 482

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 395

You deserved it 317

Merry Xmas

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 05:59 - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me that her and her husband had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 231

You deserved it 2 910

By Anonymous - 24/04/2011 20:55 - United States

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 486

You deserved it 6 867

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 1 309

By lonesome - 28/04/2013 05:23 - Canada

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 598

You deserved it 3 437

Harry Pothead

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 17:02 - Canada - North York

Today, my husband said he wouldn't be talking to me for weeks, because I didn't buy him weed. Yeah, I paid all the bills and the rent this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 203

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 980

You deserved it 3 913

By UnknownOperation - 04/09/2012 13:51 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 753

You deserved it 3 989

By Angel - 13/01/2016 13:56 - United States - Charlotte

Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 226

You deserved it 1 770

loueasy 23

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

The ham won't be the only thing that's smoked

gobroski 11

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

That's nice....

Comments

Neminess 10

Saturday 26 March 2016 3:44

Hey, atleast he wants you to be happy(or happier).

ollygollymolly 6

Saturday 26 March 2016 4:24

That's super nice of him! Hope you have fun.

carly3526 16

Saturday 26 March 2016 4:46

At least you'll be able to celebrate Easter with someone

OldBurnss22 4

Saturday 26 March 2016 5:35

That's actually pretty nice of him. How is this a FML.

jj_snipez01 3

Saturday 26 March 2016 5:41

watch the brownies

jagott2 8

Saturday 26 March 2016 6:37

I never knew drug dealers were so friendly

crazytwinsmom 25

Saturday 26 March 2016 7:13

Great desserts?!

dillon1102 4

Saturday 26 March 2016 12:11

Go to them.

dannidoll93 24

Saturday 26 March 2016 13:08

That's really nice! You can probably stop referring to him as just your dealer and call him a friend after that offer :)

toolazytotype99 18

Saturday 26 March 2016 15:17

Gotta love all the people loving the nice sweet drug dealer????sure he's this nice if the deal goes bad

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The Top

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 48 778

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 977

You deserved it 46 396

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 311

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I touched my friend's hard junk under my foot through his jeans as we played games on the couch. He didn't move away and kept jiggling my thighs playfully, so I didn't stop. When he left, I texted him I liked what I felt and got no response. I killed a 7 year friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 241

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 228

You deserved it 3 914

Today, I was invited to my ten year high school reunion. I refuse to go because I’ll stick out like a sore thumb. All the girls I grew up with will be there with their husbands, while I’m a single loser who can’t get a man to save her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 315