Kids: Today, my mother called to say that my 11-year-old nephew found...

By peneloperigby - 03/02/2009 06:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called to say that my 11-year-old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassels, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 32 142

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By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 217

You deserved it 592

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 277

You deserved it 4 803

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 05:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 112

By Kay - 02/06/2013 19:00 - India - Nagari

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 362

You deserved it 6 526

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 652

You deserved it 10 241

Egg mode

By KillahCam - 26/01/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 151

You deserved it 2 605

Overreacting much?

By But you drink alcohol though - 19/04/2023 03:00

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 724

They see me rolling…

By CharlieP - 08/05/2023 22:00

Today, I’m walking around the streets with my stuff in a rolling suitcase. My mom saw fit to kick me out of the house because she found sextoys in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 245

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 303

You deserved it 17 114

By szechuansauce - 10/04/2017 20:00

Today, my nine-year-old niece found my coloring book that features swear words. I took it away and hid it in a different spot. No less than an hour later, her younger sister found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 056

You deserved it 1 367

aridawn 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:50

I wouldn't want him over anymore if he's digging through your stuff! What a little brat!

Guiseppi 0

Friday 6 March 2009 9:44

Heh, nipple tassels. That's just funny.

Comments

moon21_fml 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 4:22

i can see why he wouldn't want to visit...

YtotsDI 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:14

she's a girl look up at the top

SilenceIsSilver 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 21:03

Can I come too? ;)

horridromance 7

Saturday 19 March 2011 0:32

and one more???

cassyannalise 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 21:37

I wouldnt wanna visit you anymore either.

snazzymcwho 21

Tuesday 31 March 2015 16:00

Most healthy adults have some kinky toys. I wouldn't want you over if you were going to snoop through my stuff!

THEBlade_fml 1

Monday 9 January 2012 22:19

Kinky

kjklopu 1

Tuesday 21 August 2012 23:25

It would make it funnier if u were a guy

corocoro 30

Tuesday 13 August 2013 11:05

"Secret" stash, huh?

The_9th_Doctor 18

Wednesday 18 September 2013 18:13

little bastard shouldn't have been snooping anyway

mea_iloveskiing 26

Saturday 22 February 2014 8:30

Sick

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my car fob died on me when I was going to get donations because my house burnt down two days ago, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 308

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 808

You deserved it 5 111

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 2 981

Today, I went to the print shop to get some work printed. The guy serving me printed my entire order wrong because he pushed the wrong button, so it had to be done again. He tried to charge me a fine for the mistake he made because "it's not a viable business otherwise". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 266

You deserved it 1 590

Today, and every night all summer, I can hear the kids outside playing when I go to bed. They’re so loud, it makes it hard to sleep. The kids have a later bedtime than I do, and I’m 33. I'm feeling like a broken down old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 277

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 180