Love: Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she...

By ZPyRoGoDz - 30/10/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 492

You deserved it 2 567

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Rachel8896 - 15/08/2013 11:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 109

You deserved it 3 424

Sorry…

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 11:47 - Denmark

Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his phone, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me, "He was so sad that you guys broke up." I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 693

You deserved it 2 504

By sick and lonely - 27/08/2016 03:19 - United States - Rockford

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 334

You deserved it 1 153

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 650

You deserved it 3 791

Do it yourself, dickwad

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 14:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 902

You deserved it 4 567

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 079

You deserved it 1 385

Nervous

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 20:00

Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 127

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 473

You deserved it 96 792

Understanding

By Chia - 10/05/2013 22:58 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 056

You deserved it 3 674

mangocherrypie 0

Friday 30 October 2009 18:34

Don't worry, I've been sick for a week as well and my boyfriend started telling me "I'm faking it". Sure, when only codeine works for my bleeding sore throat, it must be that I'm faking. I took matters into my own hands and cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush. It won't make him more compassionate but I think it will keep me from slapping him.

perdix 29

Friday 30 October 2009 17:07

Funny, you don't look fluish.

Comments

FerrariCake 2

Friday 30 October 2009 23:36

What she really meant was "There's no reason for us to stay in a relationship, since you have proven yourself genetically inferior to most other men by being so incapacitated by a simple influenza virus that you have to remain in bed for an entire week. I do not want to take any further risk of you impregnating me and thereby condemning my progeny to have an immune system as fragile as yours." She just had trouble expressing herself in so many words.

BritishHobo 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 0:16

You are either alexFYL's ex-boyfriend, the pissed off ex-boyfriend of some other girl who upset you, or just a very angry person with a lot of free time. Like me.

BikerMike 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 2:14

she is a ****

grim0925 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:02

u should of called her over, sneezed in her face, then squealed like a pig. she would get the message

kinger09 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 5:46

you should have invited her to bed with you

blastvortex 3

Saturday 31 October 2009 6:05

Um, you're actually unhappy that your needy, whiny, self-absorbed, self-obsessed princess of a girlfriend broke up with you? I would rejoice. Now you don't have to be the one to dump her. That's awesome.