Miscellaneous: Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me... - FML

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 449

You deserved it 4 711

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Same thing different taste

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 4 566

By Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 182

You deserved it 3 191

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 58 562

Don't hate the player…

By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 807

By _guy_j - 06/09/2015 03:11 - United States - Glendora

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 3 395

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 451

You deserved it 2 986

Breakout

By liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 041

You deserved it 901

The hustler

By Anonymous - 23/11/2019 01:00

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 318

You deserved it 213

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 858

You deserved it 3 994

Next

Top comments

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

Eeeewwwwwwwww

rachelottavia 16

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

I hope you didn't say yes!

Comments

Mindset 11

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:12

That....is some nasty shit

captainsmegma 12

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:26

I would hold off if I were you young lady. $20 today to practice kissing will lead to $50 to practice *******. At the rate it won't be long til your brother is pimping you out to his friends.

prostar9993 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:40

Is his name billy bob?

jdcg116 10

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:51

Oh Hell No. Nasty.

sullivankeara 25

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:52

Just no.

mikkkx19 4

Tuesday 11 November 2014 2:55

Awkward...

DrHothead 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:00

He's probably lying either about money or about date

Jacked97grand 9

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:19

Gross ?

RedHybridPanda 7

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:23

ah the south and eww

FrancoMC 5

Tuesday 11 November 2014 3:36

Take the money and don't kiss him!

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Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 999

You deserved it 3 345

Today, while I was helping my parents clean their house to my dad's playlist, the song "Mama Told Me (Not to Come)" started playing. My mom very casually said to my dad, "I did tell you, but you did anyway. Five times, in fact." Guess how many children my parents have, including myself? FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 237

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 030

You deserved it 2 304

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 207

You deserved it 102 062

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 754

You deserved it 3 236

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 300

You deserved it 1 468