Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started...

By Goodyear - 20/01/2014 03:59 - United States - Glendale

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 625

You deserved it 10 036

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Same thing different taste

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 5 769

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 5 248

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 938

You deserved it 18 545

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 6 713

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 5 732

WAURGH

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 946

You deserved it 4 272

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 941

You deserved it 23 820

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 786

You deserved it 6 219

By fffmmll - 21/03/2011 16:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 56 259

Askzombie 14

Monday 20 January 2014 11:31

Well you volunteered as tribute.

AninOnin 24

Monday 20 January 2014 11:32

Tell him his junk looks like an elephant, and flap his balls like Dumbo's ears.

Comments

sweetsuger101 6

Monday 12 May 2014 1:01

I started laughing so hard when I read the last part . I'm crying haha xD

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 3 August 2014 21:19

He's sending an SOS!!

Shrekie_fml 23

Sunday 25 January 2015 19:18

HAHAHAHHAHAHH YOUR BOYFRIEND SOUNDS AWESOME

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I agree, your life sucks 11 558

You deserved it 25 306

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I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 92

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 863

You deserved it 6 050

Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 222

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 900

You deserved it 5 568

Today, I finished hauling all of my possessions from another state, because I was supposed to move in with my girlfriend. I was just waiting to find a job. Almost as soon as my stuff was delivered, she broke up with me and told me to figure out getting it all back by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 227

Same thing different taste

Honky

Woof woof

WAURGH

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