Love: Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because...

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 14 923

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 31/01/2013 04:02 - Canada - Fergus

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 641

You deserved it 28 891

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 1 040

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

By Sir Smokalot - 24/09/2009 08:05 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 231

You deserved it 2 893

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 631

You deserved it 73 936

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 254

Damn, son…

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 379

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 948

You deserved it 4 014

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 486

Hello, 911? Crazy person in my house

By Xxvc67 - 22/06/2022 22:00

Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 2 404

killak41 9

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:05

Those damn couches...always getting in the way of falling candles

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:07

I'd take a burnt couch over smelling cigarettes in my house any day.

Comments

GraceKathryn97 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:31

Wow...boring!!!

ohlalala_fml 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:39

Well good thing youre still alive to tell us about it lol

GameOver008 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:47

Now your couch is smoking

perdix 29

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:49

My house, my rules! You can't smoke cigarettes, but I can burn furniture. Deal with it.

Fr3sH4L1F3 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 20:02

YDI for having a boyfriend who smokes

dragutz95 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 20:12

you yelled so hard your hands hurt

LeRae 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 20:13

Smooooooottthhh ;D

jefffluffingham 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 20:14

you shouldn't light candles near flammable objects. Fire Safety 101.

kg163401 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 20:17

Maybe don't throw a bitch fit?

Salkadi 9

Wednesday 2 November 2011 20:22

Oh the irony!

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The Top

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 618

You deserved it 3 790

Today, my wife made me feel like an asshole for not leaving work to come home because she wasn't feeling good. I'm working at a jobsite 1.5 hours away from home, plus my vehicle wasn't at the jobsite either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 153

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 870

You deserved it 771

Today, my best friend confronted his girlfriend and I due to rumors of the two of us sleeping together. We had to spend half an hour explaining to him that when we "smash", it's the two of us playing Smash Brothers together at her place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 780

Today, while serving at my restaurant, a mother acted as a wing-woman for her son by insisting I read a note he'd written, asking for my number. I had to awkwardly reject the guy in front of his entire family, before having to keep serving them for another hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 048

You deserved it 513

Today, at work at a psych hospital, I saw a lady get out of a Lyft with two other people. The lady went into the lobby, while the two other people went to admissions. I asked the lady in the lobby if she was lost or needed help finding admissions, thinking she was family of the other two. Turns out she works in a different building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 152