Miscellaneous: Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on...

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 463

You deserved it 46 740

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Same thing different taste

By ohmy - 17/12/2009 19:09 - Canada

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 574

You deserved it 27 872

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 469

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 268

You deserved it 32 026

By CantPublish - 04/09/2012 22:02 - United States

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 945

You deserved it 24 657

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 334

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 790

You deserved it 9 274

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 235

You deserved it 41 639

By romea244 - 14/08/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 663

You deserved it 27 082

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 521

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 969

You deserved it 1 143

Jelbeztok 17

Friday 29 November 2013 6:12

so.. did you kill it?

RowanNightShade 22

Friday 29 November 2013 6:16

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"

Comments

143amandaott 10

Sunday 1 December 2013 17:47

Well...did u kill it??

143amandaott 10

Sunday 1 December 2013 17:49

Kill em'

ninabrown 6

Monday 2 December 2013 6:43

poor spider on.kamikadze's leg

Ugi 26

Monday 2 December 2013 11:06

I'm just glad it wasn't crawling into your ear!

Silentcrafter11 13

Thursday 5 December 2013 3:05

Well, hope the wound wasn't that bad.

thethanw 2

Thursday 5 December 2013 7:32

*queue dramatic spongebob character going "my leg!"

AlexTay 6

Sunday 8 December 2013 19:55

OMG THATS GOTTA SUCK DICCC

liaRawr 9

Wednesday 11 December 2013 5:28

Idiot

saltysilverfox 7

Wednesday 11 December 2013 8:26

class...is...dismissed.

LMO3825 4

Thursday 19 December 2013 2:10

Slashing would've been less painful... but more accurate.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 264

You deserved it 2 220

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 923

You deserved it 8 188

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 136

You deserved it 36 251

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 157

You deserved it 2 723

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 504

You deserved it 5 478

Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 054

You deserved it 1 412

Same thing different taste

Adapt, improvise, overcome

Leave spiders to chill

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