Intimacy: Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love...

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 40 818

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 817

You deserved it 5 509

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 754

You deserved it 9 198

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 709

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 5 973

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 054

You deserved it 9 316

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 8 017

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 5 700

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 177

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 5 460

By Squashed - 15/08/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 134

You deserved it 22 865

iBoardSlide 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 0:16

later on you'll find out he didn't stop ;)

AnorexicMuffins 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 0:13

I can't even say anything to that...

Comments

jcingram 2

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:25

shoot he probably thought he put da pipe down real hard that night lmao.

oh_wow_why_me 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:52

now THAT is sexy

Paigeyk 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:55

116 agreed, I bet he didnt stop!

mandinerz 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 8:13

omg i feel so retarded readong that reminds of these sounds i heard coming from my parents room

GoodLookingGeese 10

Sunday 24 April 2011 8:33

LOL..was the sex that good, that you passed out???

robberry 11

Sunday 24 April 2011 8:45

Did he continue? Lol

asianive 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:12

why did you buy the right size? Don't be fooled by one size fits all......

Esmy07 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:00

that sucks big time

boygeorgebaby 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:21

oh, the thing we do for sex...

megaaann_fml 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:45

YDI for having a skanky name like 'purrykitty'.

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The Top

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 608

You deserved it 6 931

Today, after my boyfriend broke things off saying he couldn't handle being in a relationship after the death of his brother, I found out that he's back on Tinder not even three weeks after the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 115

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 458

You deserved it 51 786

Today, I got my nails done at a salon where everyone working there was Vietnamese. During my manicure, the manicurists talked about how ugly I was in their native tongue. They couldn't have known that I'd lived in Vietnam and I'm fluent in Vietnamese, but too chickenshit to speak up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 661

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my friend. It wasn't until I got there that I realized I'd come on the wrong day. Her flight arrived yesterday, so that explains her radio silence for the past two days. I just thought she was in transit, but turns out she's pissed at me and wants me to pay for the Uber ride she had to take home from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 605

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 125

You deserved it 5 969