Today I started off the New Year right, by getting broken up... - FML

SyntheticDC - 01/01/2018 18:03

Today I started off the New Year right, by getting broken up with over a text message while I was at work. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was happy because my co-worker was almost about to get fired due to his lazy habits. It was all going so well. Then I accidentally put my biggest sale yet under his name. FML

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Today, my cat is shedding her winter fur, so wherever she goes she leaves a cloud of fluff behind. She is also in heat for the first time, so I have to keep her inside – just to make sure that my nice, clean house doesn’t miss out on even a single one of her precious hairs. FML

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Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

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Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML

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Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

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Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML

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