Okay, start by going jogging in your local park, that's free exercise.. The exercise will trigger endorphin release which will reduce the need for counselling and start doing volunteer work in a charity shop or soup kitchen to re-establish a pattern of work-like behaviour. Good luck and stick at it! People have come back from worse!

No need to sign up at a gym. Go running, or get a 2nd hand bike and go cycling. Regular exercise does help with depression. Yes you can start with volunteer work to beef up your CV, or you could start up your own business, there are plenty of openings in the gig economy. Work so hard you have no time to dwell on needing counselling. Once your CV is looking better, you can start applying for decent jobs. It'll be harder than it even sounds, but there's no such thing as a free lunch.

volunteering will boost up your CV one bad advice (if you can pull off): Lie on your CV

Come up with a real good reason for that gap. And start at the bottom, entry jobs, like first job entry. You can get hired. Just have to work your way back up.

Gym = Exercise at home, start running or shadowbox. Counselling = Read ''The subtle art of not giving a ****'' Work = Get a bike and start delivering for Deliveroo or something like that. also helps with exercise

Go to a temp agency. They will easily find you a job. Will it be a job that you want to stay in? Maybe not. But do well and it’ll look good on that resume.

To add onto the comments, watch this video on YouTube: www youtube com/watch?v=m6pWEzkbnDE It should be insightful enough for you to start your journey into life again. It's suspect that you had 8 years where you did nothing, but don't be such and Eeyore and realize you don't have to spend all that money to begin again. It's going to take a while, but you have internet, I suggest you utilize that to the best of your abilities to talk about your problems with other, like-minded people, and listen to their "unprofessional" advice. Break it up into steps. Take each day and pretend there is no tomorrow. Set your goal that you'd like to achieve, and make sure you do it. For example, set yourself a goal to send out your CV to at least 15 employers a day, and do that until you rack up some interviews. Also don't be ashamed to take a job that's "beneath" you. You're starting from the bottom, so working at a McDonald's should be a step up for you if you have no job currently. Hell, get a bicycle (borrow from a friend perhaps if you don't have one) and start delivering Uber Eats. You can make some good money like that without spending a lot on car/petrol and other expenses WHILE exercising. Once you have the job, set your focus on making the best of it (even if it's a shitty job) and go on from there...

You might have to look harder to find a job, but you will find one. As for the gym you can work out at home with you tube.

Sign up for the gym membership on credit. Start selling steroids to the lunkheads at the gym, and that will be a lucrative job. When you get arrested, free counseling will be part of your rehab, so now you have everything you want! Aren’t you glad geniuses like me patrol FML to give brilliant solutions to intractable problems? You’re welcome.