Intimacy: What a dick - FML

What a dick

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 736

You deserved it 5 179

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 591

You deserved it 47 255

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 538

You deserved it 24 117

By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 589

You deserved it 12 447

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Spicy

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 256

You deserved it 36 305

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 053

You deserved it 1 838

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 718

You deserved it 5 703

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 228

You deserved it 3 439

By _schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 440

You deserved it 1 841

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 164

You deserved it 1 466

Yikes!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 279

You deserved it 7 259

Next

Top comments

damadrappa 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

Someones jealous

GuitarFail123 9

Thursday 3 November 2011 12:11

wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....

Comments

shots1996 8

Friday 2 December 2011 1:16

Not cool. His dads a freak

BetterThings 1

Sunday 4 December 2011 11:59

better let him kno

crazydanny9870 0

Friday 9 December 2011 18:14

If he makes money keep them both. You get the best of both worlds. That's weird tho. Lol

MisaAmaneABH 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:44

PEDO BEAR ALERT!

kayseelayne 3

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:50

Uhm...call the police?

nerdy96birdy 8

Saturday 14 January 2012 17:22

Quite flattering in some sense

chubby_choco 17

Wednesday 18 January 2012 2:12

o_o Confidence is key and all, but...uh...yeah, I'd threaten him with a sexual harassment lawsuit if he tries that shit again. Women are becoming very dependent on those, but the fact is, they have their place in the legal system. It's for crap like that.

lesbian221 1

Saturday 21 January 2012 23:27

Ew ew ew

burnsie22 5

Monday 30 January 2012 23:20

Tell his wife he said that

lpboy03 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 22:24

Lol I can imagine

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The Top

The Top

Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 898

You deserved it 167

Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 877

You deserved it 2 612

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 404

You deserved it 39 543

Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 124

You deserved it 446

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 839

You deserved it 6 086

Today, while taking a test in my online class, my sister unexpectedly showed up. She panicked when she realized what I was doing, as the class has a strict rule of being 100% alone during tests. I assured her that because she wasn't helping me to cheat, it would be fine. Turns out it wasn't fine, as I got a zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 306