Health: Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after... - FML

By facepalm - 05/02/2013 03:30 - United States - Sayreville

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 315

You deserved it 9 515

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Same thing different taste

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 08:01

Today, as a nursing student, I needed to take a blood sample from someone and the veins on his arms weren't really easy to draw blood from. I asked him, "Can I please look at your legs?" It turns out he was amputated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 286

By Medic - 29/10/2012 03:10 - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 628

You deserved it 4 348

Funny, thanks

By picklebug - 26/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 747

You deserved it 10 298

Lightweight

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 132

By sozzy - 07/07/2012 07:26 - United States - Aliso Viejo

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response, "Still missing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 507

You deserved it 7 024

Kicked off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2025 03:00

Today, I got discharged from the hospital after a six day stay, minus half my kicking foot. Not a diabetic, no trauma, just got some chills and was found to have extensive bone infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 64

Classic blunder

By churchman - 28/06/2021 00:01 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 811

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 04:00

Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 402

By Notpunny - 18/04/2016 22:58 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 204

You deserved it 7 874

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 16:24 - United States - San Juan Capistrano

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 853

You deserved it 3 290

Next

Top comments

dmoran20 27

Tuesday 5 February 2013 9:48

Sounds like you walked right into that..

a1f0sff 25

Tuesday 5 February 2013 9:47

The force of habit can be a bitch sometimes...

Comments

ultimatitan 1

Wednesday 6 February 2013 3:44

If you had taken my leg id still laugh that's epic

Geary519 20

Thursday 7 February 2013 13:53

facepalm X 100

xxsakuraxx 29

Friday 8 February 2013 5:33

Hahaha thats awesome! I would've cracked up if I were her.

ihearuscreamin 13

Friday 8 February 2013 7:43

You sure put your foot in your mouth on that one

ChelseaRaeS 7

Friday 8 February 2013 21:46

It's alright, she's still got another leg, right?

HereNReady 13

Monday 11 February 2013 11:58

You should've asked if she worked at IHOP too

gio4467 7

Tuesday 19 February 2013 18:10

OMG the puns LOL

Leeroy2259 4

Thursday 12 December 2013 15:22

too damn funny

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Get back to work, you!

I agree, your life sucks 279

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Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 449

You deserved it 9 204

Today, my dad tried to get me to change my resume. Here's the fun part: I took resume classes and had a career coach help me make it. Even knowing all that, he still insisted I change the entire thing. A perfectly fine professional resume into one that resembles a Word resume template. I just want to scream right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 173

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 586

You deserved it 521

Who's the chicken now, punk?

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 116

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 034

You deserved it 4 246