Money and Kids: Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped...

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 700

You deserved it 642

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Same thing different taste

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 893

You deserved it 8 370

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 322

You deserved it 5 394

I'll make my own way

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 1 466

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 269

You deserved it 3 510

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 3 460

Return to lender

By Anonymous - 31/03/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I woke up and found a trail of £5 notes in my bedroom, which led all the way downstairs and into the bathroom. I got to the last one, where I was then kicked in the balls from behind. It was my sister. She said it was the money she'd borrowed from me. I was left in my underwear writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 166

By bail? - 29/08/2019 23:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 182

By seethroughpee - 06/05/2015 05:22 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 3 993

Pants on fire

By Lucille - 07/09/2019 00:01

Today, while going through my daughter’s room, I found a pair of pants with the security tag still attached. My daughter is a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 343

By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 481

You deserved it 9 399

Leeono 26

Monday 7 May 2018 19:15

Well they do say kids make you want to stay in bed all day and lose all your money but I didn’t think they meant it so literal.

blahblabbity 19

Sunday 20 May 2018 18:42

well, they say kids are money down the drain...

Comments

1gullible_bugger 34

Monday 21 May 2018 23:02

Maybe it's time to start teaching your child to respect her elders before it's too late.

rubberduck_of_doom 31

Wednesday 23 May 2018 17:13

Holy shit why is your kid an asshole?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 14 July 2020 18:57

Oh come on. How could you possibly sleep through that? ydi

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The Top

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 169

You deserved it 4 004

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 080

You deserved it 4 085

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 076

You deserved it 6 148

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 042

You deserved it 8 893

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 432

You deserved it 2 825

Today, our 9-year-old daughter was removed from our home and placed into a home for children too violent to function in a family setting. I can't stop crying but my wife hasn't been this happy in years. She was actually smiling as our daughter was restrained and forced out the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 389