By mades - 13/02/2019 12:00
I agree, your life sucks
826
You deserved it
496
This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
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jess220022
11
Why can’t she be a boy exactly??, like I know she can’t physically but you have to let her do what she wants
Umm... No, this parent does NOT have to let their FOUR YEAR OLD daughter do whatever she wants. She's FOUR, children that old are still babies, they have no clue what's good for them or not, they change their mind on a whim and often do and say things with no rhyme or reason because they're children.
Gofuckyourself
24
Andrea McCarrell, you're not entirely correct. If a child wants to identify as the opposite sex, you SHOULD let them. Child could possibly be trans. Did you know that children that young have the possibility of committing suicide? Because people like you don't take what they say seriously. Sure, the child is a baby and you know that. Then what's the harm in letting the child experimenting? 100% the child can change their mind, so isn't it better to let them be rather than to suppress them? I don't know, I'm a social work student and this topic came up in one of my sociology classes. I, out of the 150 students there, was on board with a child posing as the opposite sex. Lots of people disagreed. My professor then played a documentary which proved my point. If you can't understand how a child feels, your child will develop a mental illness and will attempt suicide. TLDR: Take what your child says at face value. It's better to see your kid alive than to see your kid dead. Don't further stigmatize your child.
OR her daughter is possibly transgender and her mother might want to consider that before she shrugs her shoulders and dismisses the fact that her child just expressed a death wish.
do we really want 4 year olds making big decisions like that?
Dude, when a child says he/she "wants to be dead", you take it seriously. Time to whip up the old "Girls and Boys" educational book and read it. Maybe some asshat told her that she couldn't do some stuff, like play Lego or roller skate, because she's a girl.
my daughter cried happy little tears because My Little Ponies came out with a train, and she could have that because it was for girls. She was only three and had never asked for a train before. She doesn't want to be a boy, but she felt a lot of internal shame at three because she wanted boys toys too. She is an in between so to speak. She enjoys things that a traditionally boy and things that are traditionally girls. We stopped referring to things in the house in general for boys or girls and that helped alot. She's older now and she is happy with her. I think it is a bigger discussion to get to the root of it.
skyguy592
15
she's 4...u at least have to wait until teenage years to make a decision like that, at least
Who said she had to let her kid do what she wants? Is letting her wear pants and play with trucks going to be the downfall of society because with your reaction, you'd swear it was the case
Sorry honey I'd love to let you wear pants and have short hair but apparently that would kill you before your teens
Suaria
38
Letting her cut her hair, and play with boy things isn't some life altering decision skyguy592. There's no surgeries or anything permanently being done on kids until they are older. So let a kid play with "boy" toys and if she wants to cut her hair.
There’s every chance this is just a four-year-old being four, but at least ask her about it and keep her close. It’s possible that she’s transgender and if that’s the case she’ll need your love and understanding.
It is 2019, and he absolutely can.
bloopaloop
27
Nope
Gofuckyourself
24
Lol I feel that you like to stir the pot quite a bit Bloopaloop, don't ya?
When I was 4, I wanted to be a dinosaur. Maybe she's trans. More likely, someone told her that something she wanted to do was only for boys and she applied 4-year-old logic to the situation. Be understanding, find out what's up, don't take parenting advice from FML.
bloopaloop
27
Most intelligent comment yet. You are too good for FML
iceberg
10
If i can identify as a russian gerbilrobot with ambiguous genitalia then your kid can be a boi
It must be heartbreaking to hear that from your child. I hope you find a way to resolve this issue in a satisfactory manner. I’d like to share my story of self-hatred. When I was a teenager, it occurred to me that I didn’t really like most of the “girly” stuff. I felt annoyed that I got jewelry instead of an electronics set, I felt stupid putting on makeup, and I hated skirts that always seemed to go up under my backpack. I felt ashamed that my breasts attracted too much unwanted attention, and I felt despised at a boxing club that I briefly attended. Eventually that led me to dismissing my womanhood as something ridiculous and terribly wrong. I wanted to be a boy, or a queer, or dead. Anything, anyone but this dumb, giggly, spineless and superficial thing that the society implied I had to be. But then in Biology I learned that that’s not what nature had intended. Two sexes developed to ensure genetic diversity. That’s it. My body can’t be wrong for me because it’s one of two completely neutral options. My body IS me. And all this social gender thing is just a sham made up to police female bodies, keep us under control. There’s no inherent desire in women to wear pretty clothes and paint our faces because there’s no evolutionary need for that. And just because I was born with a uterus doesn’t mean I signed a parenthood contract. I am a free person who can shape her own life. Once I understood that, it was fairly easy to make peace with my biological reality.
Well said! It’s so awesome to see comments like this on FML.
ScarletFoxx
3
Wtf
Suaria
38
While your story is valid, it only relates to your own experiences. There are actual trans people who want to be the opposite sex, and it does not have anything to do with societal constructs of whatever sex they are. Also that is pretty elementary introduction to biology. Biology also shows some women who are born with a uterus and ****** have XY chromosomes. Biology also shows some men who are born with penises are born with XX chromosomes. Biology shows humans can be born with XXY chromosomes, XXX chromosomes, XYX chromosomes and many other combinations. So while the majority of humans are taught in biology that there can only be male and female, that is simply only an introduction to genetics within the human species. So I am glad you were able to figure out that you are a woman who doesn't like the societal constructs that come with being a woman, fact is not every human is like you. Fact is trans and nonbinary people exist. It is not an attack on women to state that.
childlessmother
16
If you suppress her desire or can be bad. Explain to her that she can not be a boy until she is 18 and let her do boy stuff. My son did the same thing I told him that but did not let him wear dresses. Now he wants to be a boy.
18 is way too late in the game for transitioning and having a chance of engaging in adult life without the burden of having a body that not only feels wrong but also is fully grown. Putting this issue off until adulthood might imply that this kid spends his or her essential formative years feeling terrible and out of place. That’s to no ones benefit.
You are putting way to much thought into this. Most likely some tool in her class said she can’t do something cause she’s a girl. While yes trans genders (more aptly non binary gender) does exist. We have documented evidence that up to 5 chromosomes can be gender defining (look up pentahex syndrome) Three chromosomal gender is well defined and some of these individual can have offspring. The more common three chromosome non binary are extremely rare. The trans acceptance and transphobia phenomena has led to parents over scrutinizing normal behavior in kids. It’s also lead to a lot of really stupid new speak. Most likely your daughter is gender normative and the whole thing is being over scrutinized. However if she is non binary just let them live the life they want to live. Your child will have enough shit to deal with please don’t add to it.
What the hell is school teaching kids these days??
Gofuckyourself
24
Shes 4.. probably not in school. If she is, then preschool.. they wouldn't be taught "how to be the opposite sex".
melenials be like
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When I was 4, I wanted to be a dinosaur. Maybe she's trans. More likely, someone told her that something she wanted to do was only for boys and she applied 4-year-old logic to the situation. Be understanding, find out what's up, don't take parenting advice from FML.
Dude, when a child says he/she "wants to be dead", you take it seriously. Time to whip up the old "Girls and Boys" educational book and read it. Maybe some asshat told her that she couldn't do some stuff, like play Lego or roller skate, because she's a girl.