Miscellaneous: Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked...

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 908

You deserved it 2 535

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Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 3 400

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 749

You deserved it 5 792

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 154

Bad guy

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 00:00

Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 380

You deserved it 2 471

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 773

You deserved it 3 758

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 152

You deserved it 3 239

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 688

You deserved it 5 311

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 684

You deserved it 2 779

By Sadfaic - 23/01/2012 02:59 - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 672

You deserved it 2 154

jonn090 13

Monday 2 April 2012 18:50

Is it me or do I smell a game of COD Nazi zombies?

thejewishfuhrer 17

Monday 2 April 2012 18:50

Don't forget to double tap. Oh and always wear your seatbelt.

Comments

lexie1998 0

Monday 2 April 2012 23:46

I wish my dad was that cool!!

cami197934 3

Tuesday 3 April 2012 1:43

Yur dad is awesome!!

XxblueglazexX 0

Tuesday 3 April 2012 2:48

I'm eleven and I'm scared about the zombie apocalypse ( I'm a girl ) every guy keeps scaring me about it

PawnShopPenguin 4

Tuesday 3 April 2012 7:11

Well maybe you were just a little weary from your sleep and didn't realize that your father was right :o

FmaFangirl 9

Tuesday 3 April 2012 7:16

The Walking Dead. :D

zebruhcakez 0

Tuesday 3 April 2012 7:33

can you blaime him

WALDO_WTF 0

Tuesday 3 April 2012 10:23

Hahaha thats funny I woulda laughed n said "your a zombie" lol just to see if he would start punchin himself lol

streetracerVC 9

Tuesday 3 April 2012 13:03

time to bring out the black ops ;)

dcoy158 9

Tuesday 3 April 2012 15:15

Ya that's a win in my book lol

rockurheart 9

Tuesday 3 April 2012 20:08

I read this at 3am, I woke everyone up laughin my ass off haha that's a really funny dad you got there xD

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The Top

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 117

You deserved it 3 450

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 156

You deserved it 2 196

Today, I'm unemployed and just had to move. My country’s unemployment agency considers that the ideal moment to invite me for a talk about my job search activities is smack dab in the middle of Christmas vacation, while I’m still busy unpacking moving boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 186

Today, I found a great parking spot but I wasn't sure if it was restricted by any means or of I could just park there for free. I asked a police officer walking by and he told me it was alright, only to come back 4 hours later to find a ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 964

Today, my neighbour is a doctor and has a 2 year-old son. He has a stomach infection and has been crying non stop day and night for a week now. The woman is not taking him to the hospital or giving him medicines, because it's "just diarrhea" and will "go away." The crying is driving me mad. I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 62

Today, I tried to parallel park my car in a tight spot. After several failed attempts, I finally parked, but then realized I had parked on a slight incline. My car started rolling backwards. I had to chase it down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 933