Miscellaneous: Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I...

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 404

You deserved it 5 249

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 147

You deserved it 3 681

Betrayal!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2010 05:32 - Canada

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 029

You deserved it 10 531

By why - 28/07/2014 01:55 - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 756

You deserved it 5 535

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 157

There's always that one friend…

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 325

You deserved it 10 693

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 157

You deserved it 6 184

Creeped out

By Really jealous - 26/01/2021 09:31 - India

Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 244

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 387

By Noname - 10/03/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 076

You deserved it 61 368

katieatieay 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:09

you were sorely mistaken.

Roi_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:52

... lulwut?

Comments

razzl3erry 6

Sunday 21 August 2011 19:12

Funny, my friend says that to me too.

ilovemyflaws 0

Monday 10 October 2011 18:41

If my best friend ever said this to me, it would sound pretty normal for her XD

Timmeh94 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 23:27

forced ******* dumb bitch

FaraNight 6

Thursday 31 May 2012 7:54

Weird.

reaganelaina 0

Sunday 8 July 2012 9:01

Hahaha me and my best friend say much much worse to each other. Haha

profligatesoul 18

Saturday 2 March 2013 4:38

That actually sounds kind of sexy. Should've asked her to show you how.

Greenmarsh 31

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:25

Sheltered much?

me127 17

Monday 5 January 2015 4:59

Wow bro calm ur ****.

awesomekirby098 11

Wednesday 18 May 2016 21:13

RUN.

Xkillz302 10

Saturday 8 October 2016 1:28

she just want to sit on ur face !

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 641

You deserved it 28 891

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 3 378

Today, I was gonna take my ex to a concert, but we broke up before it so instead I went with my Tinder date. When I got to the venue, my ticket was already used. My ex was in there. My date never got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 516

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 089

You deserved it 773

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 653

You deserved it 4 584

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend complaining that I don't help with the chores, I secretly took a day off work to deal with some that were piling up. When she got home, all she could do was complain about how I hadn't done more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 289