Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,... - FML

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

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By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

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Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

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By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

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By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

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By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

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You deserved it 1 860

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 353

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Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 8 291

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 596

You deserved it 15 257

By Aaron - 26/08/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 643

You deserved it 56 041

Next

Top comments

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

romeovilleanyone 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 20:45

INSECTIALITY haha awesome

justxdream 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 21:06

snails? try human ****. probably even MORE effective...

EmbryH 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:06

Wow. You get hot and bothered watching what is basically two slimy feet going at it... ...try eharmony?

jmh13 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:37

hahahaha wtf try getting a girl. or go have fun with a snail if that what you like...

kunkel93 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:51

wow honestly, thats really freaking disgusting...

ebbasaur 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 1:32

Well...how do snails do it?

BlackWolfVII 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:19

Someone's got a hentai fetish. Slimy, weird things rubbing against each other. Only thing missing is the tentacles.

P4R4N0ID 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:34

Same thing happened to me. /=

robshley 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 3:59

LOL............ marry me we can make love like snails do

shazaire 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:10

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DUDE HAVE U SEEN WHAT SNAILS LOOK LIKE GROSSS !

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Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 215

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Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

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Today, I excitedly waited to watch the finale and reunion of The Ultimatum on Netflix. It was the worst thing to ever happen to reality TV, which is really saying something considering all the shit out there. It was the only thing I was looking forward to in months. FML

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Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 454

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Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "I have to answer this." He went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML

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Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

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You deserved it 2 022