Love Today, I realized I fart when I'm aroused. FML - FML

MarkRoberge - 09/04/2016 03:23 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I realized I fart when I'm aroused. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife told me not to rush her during packing for our upcoming move. She's lived in the house for 30 years and apparently needs to reminisce over every single item. FML

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Today, I realised my sex drive has improved massively since I started fantasising about Bruno from Encanto on the regular. I thought my lack of appetite was because of my mental health issues. Apparently not. FML

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Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

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Today, over half of my coworkers have called out for various reasons and my manager is on her third week of vacation. My coworkers keep calling out. I'm the only closer. I just want a day off. FML

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Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was really trying to give me back my keys that I'd dropped. FML

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Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

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