Miscellaneous Today, I discovered that my mum has been saying I made up the... - FML

whattheactualfuck - 27/02/2016 07:14 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I discovered that my mum has been saying I made up the stories about my very abusive childhood. All because I came out of the closet two weeks ago. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

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Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

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Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

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Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

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Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in, I heard a noise. Thinking it was the tram, I decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like a giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle-aged man taking photos of me. FML

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Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

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