Intimacy: Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please...

By Anonymous - 19/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 070

You deserved it 2 660

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 842

You deserved it 371

Confusion is Sex

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 18:01

Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 21:34 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 505

You deserved it 4 676

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 432

You deserved it 25 060

You what now?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 16:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 190

You deserved it 3 290

By Anonymous - 26/12/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 882

You deserved it 41 201

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 110

Healthy marriage

By I'mmessedup - 11/08/2022 21:00 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, I was told I should try treating my wife the way she treats me when I seek out her affection, so she can see how bad it hurts. Not only could I never do that to her, but that would require her attempting to show me even the simplest form of affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 162

By sickandtiredofit - 24/01/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 492

You deserved it 3 141

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 183

crazyarsedfly 14

Thursday 19 November 2009 12:06

Why not just show her the book?

ellemk 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 14:37

IF you aren't planning on having an affair, I think that's sweet. Just because he did that doesn't mean he sucks in bed.

Comments

TheFirstUnAntiNo 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 20:40

What a george moment

Senken_ 0

Monday 30 November 2009 18:39

show the goddamn book. show her where you found out how to do this. let it be done.

Kuuga_Rider 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 3:16

Wow. you should definitely do what everyone is telling you to do and show her the book.

burgydagamer 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 21:21

show her the book....

swkisses5 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 13:02

what an unappreciative bitch!!! u shouldn't have to show her the book. she should trust that u wouldn't cheat on her...and when u do show her the book deny her that "good lovin" for a month lol she'll learn

banacafalata 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 8:24

Far out! What a psycho! Show her the book and when you finally convince her, use her lack of trust in you to your advantage

Aizsaule 0

Saturday 1 May 2010 21:03

Sounds like that book is great, could you mention its send me its name please?

Wizard_and_glass 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 5:44

Show her the book.

zebrapattern 6

Saturday 25 December 2010 6:57

um so show her the book?

lotusflower007 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 6:28

he should of communicated to her his intentions BEFORE, so she would know whats going on. and no he was not accused of learning those things to cheat, but by the act of cheating, picking up a few new tricks from another partner.