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By OwieOwie - / Monday 29 October 2018 11:00 / United Kingdom - Tewkesbury
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By rejected Lonely heart - / Friday 12 October 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom - Edinburgh
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Today, I finally sought help for my alcoholism. They told me they wouldn't help me until I'd stopped drinking. Um... what? FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 26 September 2018 16:30 / United Kingdom - London
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By Anonymous - / Sunday 2 September 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Wakefield
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By Chantraine - / Sunday 26 August 2018 19:30 / United Kingdom
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Today, I was woken up early because the baby wallaby I am hand-rearing wanted food. She achieved this by peeing all over my pillow, and subsequently in my hair. FML

By WallabyMom - / Sunday 26 August 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Wolverhampton
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Today, I woke up in an amazing mood and practically jumped out of bed, only to fall flat on my face. In my half-asleep daze I'd forgotten that I'm missing a leg. FML

By 4lphaNum3R1c4l - / Thursday 23 August 2018 13:30 / United Kingdom - Feltham
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By Wethousennofun - / Thursday 23 August 2018 02:30 / United Kingdom - Walsall
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By EmbarrassedBigSister - / Sunday 19 August 2018 05:00 / United Kingdom - Brighton
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By Tanya - / Monday 13 August 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Wakefield
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By I can't stand leg puns - / Wednesday 8 August 2018 02:30 / United Kingdom - Feltham
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Today, I met my long-distance boyfriend in person for the first time. He insisted on bringing all of his friends, and when he went to the bathroom, one of them punched me in the face for "stealing his bro". FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 26 July 2018 19:30 / United Kingdom - Poole
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Today, it's been 9 months since my home was damaged by a neighbour's gas explosion. The council said it would take a month to repair. I'm still living on my boyfriend's mother's sofa. FML

By onemonthmyarse - / Wednesday 25 July 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Isleworth
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Today, at school, after returning from a very serious operation, a group of bullies stole something I got during my recovery - my new prosthetic leg. I still have no idea where it is. FML

By I can't stand leg puns - / Monday 25 June 2018 18:00 / United Kingdom - Feltham
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Today, I brought a guy home for the first time in a while. Everything was going great, and we ended up breaking my bed. To clarify: we didn't have sex, we just broke my bed. FML

By .22 - / Saturday 16 June 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom - Edinburgh
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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 13 June 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Morecambe
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Today, I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning the massive shopfront window of my work outside in the scorching heat, only to watch some kid drag his sweaty, sticky hand all the way along it. FML

By anonymous - / Tuesday 12 June 2018 18:00 / United Kingdom - London
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Today, it’s my birthday. My family has spared no expense; cake, balloons, decorations, new outfits... nothing is too much. Oh, it’s not for me. They’re celebrating the Royal Wedding. FML

By RoyalFail - / Friday 25 May 2018 04:02 / United Kingdom - Wallasey
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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 23 May 2018 19:30 / United Kingdom - London
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Today, 30 seconds after waking up and shuffling into the bathroom, the mother of all spiders lost its fight with gravity and fell into my lap while I was peeing. I went from 0-100 wide awake and screaming at 6am. FML

By ScaredShitless - / Tuesday 1 May 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Sheffield
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Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML

By Fml4evr - / Sunday 22 April 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom
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Today, I have to clear up after an orgy from last night. That would be bad enough, but I spent weeks arranging it, supplied the venue and everything else, and I was the only guy not to get laid. FML

By Frustrated - / Thursday 19 April 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom
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By Si123 - / Tuesday 10 April 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Renfrew
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By UnComfortablyNumb - / Thursday 5 April 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom - Hatfield
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By Anonymous - / Friday 30 March 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom
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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 13 March 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom
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Today, I cut my balls while shaving. They wouldn't stop bleeding, so I had to go about my day wearing a maxi pad. My girlfriend won't stop congratulating me on growing into a beautiful young woman. FML

By Painful periods - / Thursday 8 March 2018 18:00 / United Kingdom - Lincoln
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Today, I'm stuck in the middle of a red weather warning because of two huge snowstorms. I've been snowed in at work for three days so far. No sign of getting home any time soon. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 6 March 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom
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By Anonymous - / Saturday 24 February 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Pontefract
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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 21 February 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Poole

Game Ranking

End of game in

Zombie

# Nickname Bites
1 whatshername?! 189
2 im365sostressed 7
3 CaseyR 4
4 MysteryGuitarMan 2
5 Danitorresciadne 0
6 horselover69 0
7 Briannm 0
8 wordsoftruth 0
9 Yupo247 0
10 mylifesepicfxckd 0
# Total 202

vampire

# Nickname Bites
1 newbiemalestr8 1951
2 BadAtPuns 1198
3 Ashamed_Sister 915
4 abigiggles 220
5 hellsingthecreator93 183
6 Dave_Davington 134
7 EclipticaLibra 120
8 Vaella 81
9 Callyn 48
10 xsandra 45
# Total 5149

werewolf

# Nickname Bites
1 Taurus_ChicKa 50
2 thisisbutaname 24
3 digi_daniel 0
4 MasFantaban 0
5 crazybean 0
6 tunacan 0
7 finelygrace 0
8 luC1f3r_07 0
9 lalalacommunism 0
10 lckyirshguy2 0
# Total 74
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