Holidays: Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status...

By ineedalifekay - 24/05/2009 06:43 - Canada

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 002

You deserved it 46 390

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 47 178

By pointlessperson - 06/02/2009 14:28 - Canada

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 791

You deserved it 3 018

By chocolaterabbit - 02/11/2009 12:41 - Australia

Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 4 475

Mixed signals

By Leota - 15/08/2011 16:20 - United States

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 217

You deserved it 13 054

By ashbox233 - 09/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 167

You deserved it 85 537

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 077

You deserved it 34 720

By bbb - 11/01/2017 07:36

Today, I wasn't able to reply to Facebook chat message immediately, so my friends planned holiday and bought flights without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 802

You deserved it 877

Party hard!

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 10 525

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 03:27 - United States

Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 176

You deserved it 4 363

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 678

You deserved it 8 712

Bryan_Z 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

^Did you create another account here to comment on your FML? :p (never mind 3 others responded and ruined it XD)

Endymion_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:07

Facebook friends are not actual friends.

Comments

gamerdude94 1

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:58

haha woww.

canesul 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 14:14

get a pet

hubbabubbba 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 14:40

pet?????? no. a pet wud reuine her chance of hanging out cuz u need to clean it, give it lots of attention ect......petsa

hubbabubbba 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 14:42

pets....not my choice  messed up

xHaniffax 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

Don't use the bloody word "proceeded" ffs it does not make your FML sound better it's retarded.

Meisuruler 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 22:13

Just because you can't understand what the word "proceeded" doesn't make it retarded

loveishope 4

Friday 1 March 2013 0:16

He didn't use the word proceed

musigreg 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

WOW , doesn't someone need friends, thats really sad.

poohbear_xoxo 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 5:24

That's not nice -____-

Bryan_Z 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

^Did you create another account here to comment on your FML? :p (never mind 3 others responded and ruined it XD)

WhyMe1_2_3 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:00

some one needs to get laid...

diki_fml 2

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:01

#4 LOL

noshitsherlock 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:02

wow... are ANY of them IRL friends?

dickinabox 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:05

Don't be passive about making plans with friends. Pick someone and call them up.

Endymion_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:07

Facebook friends are not actual friends.

soccerkrzy 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:11

You must still be young or something. I know I never look at facebook anymore unless if it e-mails me...

juliarose002 0

Monday 2 May 2011 16:53

dude. I'm 14 and my parents are in their 40s. my parents pull out their blackberry at red lights just to check their facebook. hahaha

Keywords

Kids Names Music Work Customers Awkward Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Money Roommate AITA Dogs Parents Allergies Singing Embarrassing Neighbours Cute Accident Health Ironic Animals Cats Love Airport Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Cheating

The Top

Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 78

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I'm exhausted. My antidepressants ran out, making me overreact to everything. My friends dragged me into really childish drama, resulting in me ditching them. Then my work laptop broke on the most important day of my project. Then I got my first break from work in about a year… and woke up with COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 117

Today, at an 8 a.m. spin class, I knelt on the floor to set up my bike. The bike next to me was too close, and while the girl on it was pedaling to warm up, she pedaled down hard onto my heel, breaking my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 891

You deserved it 468

Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 87

Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 350

Today, I offered to give my ex a ride home from work. He and I ended on good terms years ago, we just aren't compatible with each other. I dropped him off and not ten seconds later, he came back out looking sick. His fiancee was inside having sex with MY new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 798

You deserved it 162

Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was really trying to give me back my keys that I'd dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 819

Same thing different taste

Clout chasing

Mixed signals

Party hard!

Top comments

Comments