Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to... - FML

By kipper - 22/07/2019 12:00

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 227

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By E or - 13/07/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 890

You deserved it 40 213

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 23:02

Today, I told my girlfriend that one of my intellectually challenged friends now holds an engineering position at an aircraft company. She wasn't a fan of flying before, and now refuses to set foot anywhere near any aircraft of any kind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 254

By JSterl - 02/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, our airplane was delayed because of issues with the de-ice-ing. Then, because it had too little fuel. Then, because of engine troubles. Then, because our first officer needed to be replaced due to legal restrictions on pilots' hours. Now, I get to go straight from the plane to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 831

You deserved it 2 346

Suspicious liquids

By Flyboy - 18/07/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 921

You deserved it 4 391

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 15 733

By tattooapprentice - 01/12/2018 17:30

Today, at my first day of my dream job, I dropped a delicate $700 piece of machinery on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 813

You deserved it 438

Lav agent

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was assigned to empty the lavatory tank on an airplane. I haven't done this since February, when the contents ended up all over me. I thought to myself, "It can't happen again, can it?" I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 197

By Bittersweet - 07/07/2019 06:00

Today, after 10 years of frequent international air travel, I got my seat upgraded for the very first time. Also, for the very first time in 10 years, the airline lost my luggage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 126

Look where you're going, dude

By balancestrikesagain - 24/04/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 461

You deserved it 10 784

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 531

You deserved it 5 360

Next

Top comments

Alup132 22

Monday 22 July 2019 13:58

How did you get grease on you at a museum?

skippydoda 32

Monday 22 July 2019 13:54

You're not actually suppose to touch the exhibits.

Comments

skippydoda 32

Monday 22 July 2019 13:54

You're not actually suppose to touch the exhibits.

Alup132 22

Monday 22 July 2019 13:58

How did you get grease on you at a museum?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 22 July 2019 18:18

Only 10 more years before she turns 18 and can get away from the death trap your clumsiness establishes?

fjvitt 14

Monday 22 July 2019 18:20

Let me guess...you work on the 737 Max???

Keywords

Coworkers Work Gross TMI Racism Customers Kids Scary Geek Gamers Technology Neighbours Miscellaneous Insects Animals Health Awkward Plumbing Insurance Money AITA Love Roommate Cheating Pregnancy Mental health Intimacy Wanker Relatable Parents

The Top

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 152 405

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 420

You deserved it 46 454

The Top

Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 122

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 12 055

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 845

You deserved it 9 296

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 2 598

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 050

You deserved it 1 654

Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 905