I think the honeymoon is over.

This is not a sexy text. This is the equivalent of "good morning, just rubbed one out."

He was coming home to her and all he could think about was food. And not the good kind of eat out.

I've read that at least five times and still fail to see how anyone would find it to be sexy. It sounds like something that would come from a self-care book for women experiencing a midlife crisis on the verge of a wine-induced alcoholism.

This is on you, OP. That is not a sexy text. “Masturbation is a wonderful thing” is about as far from an attempt to initiate sex as you can get while still talking about a sex act. That sounds to me like you’re trying to tell your husband you want LESS sex and that touching yourself is easier/preferred.

you need lil work on your sexting cause that is sure ain't gonna get him in the mood

sounds like a daily fact not a sext 🙈

The way it's worded is weird, it changes the message Like it gets better without him