By Never Getting Married - 03/03/2019 16:00
Top comments
Comments
Well when was the last time you and baby daddy talk about long term goals? If your goals are completely different then need to find a new BF. life is to short to try to change people.
Agreed! Just talk. My now husband and I had discussed wanting to get married quite a bit over the four years we dated but both always felt like it wasn’t the right time financially. I was not opposed to a long engagement but had these grand ideas of what I wanted and where and who I wanted to be there and it wasn’t possible at the time. He was not a fan of a long engagement, and I knew that, so he never asked because he knew I would not get the wedding I wanted if he did Late December, I finally just felt so stressed about wanting all the details right, that I abandoned the idea altogether and I asked him outright “Why don’t we have a different kind of new year celebration this year?” We planned our private ceremony in less than a week and were married. There was no fuss. We both knew that that was the plan all along and so when the time came, neither was stressed or tired of waiting or shocked by the suggestion. The romantic spontaneous proposal sounds nice, but realistically you have to know that you are both truly on the same page before just expecting something that may never come.
Don’t envy your Grandma — she and her fiancé are old-fashioned. Marriage is a bullshit institution. Your Baby Daddy has it figured out and you gave up your leverage to hook him into marriage when you had his baby.
It doesn't mean romance is dead. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Marriage often kills romance because it binds the couple legally, socially and financially, so there's no incentive to keep the love alive. How much more romantic is it to choose to stay with someone of your own free will, as opposed to being stuck with them to avoid government punishment?
I’m not sure how it is where you are, but in America, divorce is a brutal, punishing affair. It forces people to stay married to people they hate. Marriage with a pre-nup could work.
You live together, are together and are raising a child together. 1) Do you know how many single parents are out there? Be happy. 2) What exactly will marriage get you? An expensive party? A bill from the government? If you love each other, just drop it. Forcing him to spend thousands to “prove his love” does nothing. You’ll spend the money and come back to the same home, same baby, same relationship.... empty savings accounts. You have a good relationship that many would envy. Don’t spoil it with greed.
If you want to get married so badly, can you not think of anyone else who might be able to pop the question?
You had a baby together but haven't talked about long term plans together? Children are for life.
Keywords
Well when was the last time you and baby daddy talk about long term goals? If your goals are completely different then need to find a new BF. life is to short to try to change people.
Here's a novel idea: You ask him.