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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (3990)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31730) - you deserved it (5095)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (2171)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212) - you deserved it (3286)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (15913)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3302)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

#21375070
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36072) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/15/2015 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

#21374975
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138) - you deserved it (2359)

On 03/15/2015 at 11:01am - health - by lordtimbit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28574) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today". I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML

#21374151
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (2546)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:52pm - health - by minty - United States

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

#21373752
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155) - you deserved it (2138)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:02am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3878)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)



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