Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I called a doctor's office for a referral. I was in public, so when she asked me what type of issue I had, I mumbled that I had a vaginal issue. After painstakingly having to repeat this several times, she said she was asking what kind of insurance I have. FML

#21485084
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/27/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Jess -

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

#21484437
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (5462)

On 10/26/2015 at 12:42am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

#21484236
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22505) - you deserved it (3294)

On 10/25/2015 at 3:00pm - health - by dancincherrychic - United States (California)

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

#21483925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (3538)

On 10/24/2015 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my bio teacher decided to put a plant in his classroom, and I'm allergic to it. Apparently, my hives and runny nose aren't enough to convince him to get rid of it. FML

Today, my dryer broke in the middle of drying my essential work clothes. This resulted in me wearing partially-dried pants to work today. As a nanny I have encountered diaper rashes before, just not on myself. FML

#21482372
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (1634)

On 10/20/2015 at 10:02pm - health - by RedHatKat - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband won't seek medical treatment for a condition he's been living with for years because he saw an episode of House, in which the treatment made the condition worse in a very rare instance. FML

#21481726
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23518) - you deserved it (1701)

On 10/19/2015 at 5:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML

#21481028
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35535) - you deserved it (1667)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:09am - health - by BX (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

#21480933
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (7340)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by scorned ex -

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

#21479542
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (1669)

On 10/13/2015 at 12:55pm - health - by Shibs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

#21479175
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (1900)

On 10/12/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by laurenmichela (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML

#21478782
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28186) - you deserved it (1529)

On 10/11/2015 at 10:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: