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Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

#21415404
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (1571)

On 05/25/2015 at 7:39am - health - by Hooperist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (2698)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (19156)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (10329)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13617) - you deserved it (30012)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

#21411404
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (6600)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:05am - health - by no more flips - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (10502)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

#21409639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (9615)

On 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm - health - by windthroughmyflab - United States

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

#21409404
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (2632)

On 05/13/2015 at 9:57am - health - by Hlaalette (woman) - Belgium

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (2001)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (4875)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (3141)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

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