Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31715) - you deserved it (5429)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (6246)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (1910)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

#21359857
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (2819)

On 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

#21355802
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (1612)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:14am - health - by u wot? (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (2325)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

#21352523
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/09/2015 at 1:23am - health - by wellalrightythen - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

#21352130
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (3953)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:46pm - health - by walllflower - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: