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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I noticed that the eye drops I have been using 3 times a day for the past week expired when the Jonas Brothers were popular. FML

#21497247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (5211)

On 11/26/2015 at 9:47pm - health - by clkoko - United States (New York)

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

#21496134
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (1406)

On 11/24/2015 at 12:49am - health - by sprained neck (woman) -

Today, I learned that if I take my full dosage of Vicodin, I will throw up all day. I also learned that if I don't take my full dosage of Vicodin, I will be in excruciating pain all day. FML

#21495944
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (1414)

On 11/23/2015 at 4:21pm - health - by owch (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML

#21495350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23845) - you deserved it (1423)

On 11/21/2015 at 11:54pm - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

#21495080
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23355) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

#21494880
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (2373)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:48pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

#21493972
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (1603)

On 11/18/2015 at 9:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

#21493950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/18/2015 at 8:47am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

#21492350
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (1655)

On 11/14/2015 at 4:12am - health - by Darth Spasticus (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

#21492063
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29097) - you deserved it (2042)

On 11/13/2015 at 10:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML

#21491931
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (2018)

On 11/13/2015 at 12:24am - health - by MeAgainDr... (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands



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