Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

#21346205
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (2346)

On 01/29/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by anon - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
111 comments

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (8959)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (7409)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32244) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (2427)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (2788)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (18713)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

#21338794
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21549) - you deserved it (9385)

On 01/17/2015 at 8:54am - health - by badluck_jean (man) - France

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28388) - you deserved it (5759)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML

#21338407
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/16/2015 at 4:59pm - health - by Jensa (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (15087)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I have bad adult acne. This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's only on one side of my face. I look like a Batman villain. FML

#21337414
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/15/2015 at 2:28am - health - by twoface_chick - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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