Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (5227)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (9462)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (1915)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (1859)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (10034)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (1959)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2388)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (4917)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (1915)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (5056)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: