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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today,hile doing aerobics in mah room, I startd doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of mah pockethile doing one knee high. As I lookd down, I kned myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency roomhile the doctor told everyone mah story. FML

#4054233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32311) - you deserved it (17959)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I hered spice may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is mah nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. real FML

#4046388
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (78532)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I hered a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut mah tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML

#4020266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50062) - you deserved it (2576)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - health - by Toothy. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course... I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

#3973992
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (5342)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:45am - health - by SBT1030 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the dentist, the new, rather ary assistant went to prep me for an extraction!! She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood!! She was trying to pull out ( that werd wre thing )!! In other words, my permanent retainer!! FML

#3958624
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63708) - you deserved it (2454)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:36pm - health - by retainer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today a resident went missing at our nursing ome. Wen I found im a man in a blue sirt and red pants e started yelling at me in confusion. I just tougt it was is alziemers. Wen I brougt im to ma administrator I was told te missing resident was wereing a red sirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (36674)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I cummed home from living in Spain 4 2 yeres. My mom made dinner 4 me, an she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, an calling 911 4 myself, I hered my mom say to my dad, ( She always did have to be the center of attention. ) mega FML

#3927246
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I recieved a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilariou to try an fit her fist in her mouth . She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out . real FML

#3907328
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40111) - you deserved it (3258)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a Starbucks drive-thru and was grabbing a hot coffee when I got rear endd and mah car hit the vehicle in front of me which deployd mah arbag. Hot coffee can really burn when it hits yur face at a high rate of sped. FML

#3875219
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (3426)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - health - by coffeeburns (man) - United States

Taday I went to a restaurant fir lunch. The waiter brought some bread an I started eating it as I waited fir him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me an said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make u fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

#3746526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (6377)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a manho lost 650 pounds. I ignored it, until I sawho sent it. My mom, with the message "Maybe there's hope 4 you." FML

#3740812
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41314) - you deserved it (8110)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , my building's alavators wara tamporarily out of sarvica. I climbd up 17 flights of stars only looool to raaliza I laft my kays downstars. Aftar tha painful climb back up , tha alavator lights cama on. FML

#3713187
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (6301)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:25am - health - by Tired (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today , it started raining unexpectedly . My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella , so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain . It worked . FML

#3712266
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24645) - you deserved it (42097)

On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



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