Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

by Darth Spasticus / 11/14/2015 at 4:12am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2015 at 10:51am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Health

Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML

by MeAgainDr... / 11/13/2015 at 12:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

by 4lphab3t4 / 11/12/2015 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

by Nora / 11/12/2015 at 4:21pm / United States (North Dakota) / Health

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

by The horror... / 11/11/2015 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Health

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2015 at 6:03am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML

by NotABeatenWoman / 11/08/2015 at 7:36pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

by Anonymouse / 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm / Health

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2015 at 4:23pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health