Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

#7121915
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (2032)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:59am - health - by nzkristy (woman) - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML

#7121728
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (6133)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:36am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

#7098506
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31296) - you deserved it (4269)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7692) - you deserved it (32872)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML

#7094930
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:26am - health - by ouchie (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thighs but my already undersized breasts. FML

#7094608
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (2905)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (3705)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (23869)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7748) - you deserved it (27373)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

#7022853
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (3583)

On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (10841)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: