Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

by pizzachest / 08/19/2011 at 9:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

by c.hip / 08/18/2011 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

by kaitylait / 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

by AmySweet / 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

by gb / 08/18/2011 at 1:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

by sadface / 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

by gkid92 / 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Health

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

by Jillian Drute / 08/16/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML

by Username / 08/15/2011 at 5:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash / 08/14/2011 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

by j / 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm / United States / Health

Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML

by IronFoot / 08/13/2011 at 10:41pm / Canada / Health