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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

#11953086
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (9263)

On 07/18/2010 at 12:02am - health - by lalala (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (43312)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (3185)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

#11902145
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31105) - you deserved it (9025)

On 07/15/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (9405)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (37069)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12279) - you deserved it (66844)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (46926)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39901) - you deserved it (2991)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10436) - you deserved it (66137)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

#11470870
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56526) - you deserved it (10361)

On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (65728)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)



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