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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (6460)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12797) - you deserved it (56005)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (4090)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

#12852856
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (4682)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

#12846178
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (37492)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:46pm - health - by WIno - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (29715)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (3815)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (4960)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11700) - you deserved it (26356)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2988)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (5422)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19027) - you deserved it (30233)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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