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Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

#14533533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (4162)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8937) - you deserved it (38221)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

#14529233
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (2844)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

#14524206
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38520) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Serbia

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (3600)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

#14518373
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (4071)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

#14502012
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10264) - you deserved it (30620)

On 01/07/2011 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

#14498607
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by walnutbladder (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

#14497096
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8702) - you deserved it (40898)

On 01/07/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by ouchieouch (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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