Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (6779)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (3099)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (6453)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12191) - you deserved it (54407)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2537)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

#12852856
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29699) - you deserved it (4671)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

#12846178
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (37399)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:46pm - health - by WIno - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18154) - you deserved it (27569)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (3569)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (4921)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11093) - you deserved it (25424)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (2983)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)



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