Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

by AudraRose / 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm / United States / Health

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

by pottie69 / 09/07/2011 at 1:23am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

by oxymorons / 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 12:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

by whatdidIdo / 09/03/2011 at 1:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

by WoWWidow / 09/02/2011 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 6:52am / United States / Health

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

by Bigpoppa0507 / 08/31/2011 at 10:02am / Canada / Health

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

by Stan / 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health